I’m indebted to my Christian gay friends over at Spiritual Friendship for the discovery of St. Aelred’s day. January 12, or St. Aelred’s day, remembers the life of Aelred of Rievaulx, a Benedictine Abbot of the 12th century, perhaps best known for his book Spiritual Friendship.

Among many of our friends, it is a day to commemorate and celebrate friendships… not altogether unlike Valentine’s Day celebrates romantic partners. Now, truth be told, our family Valentine’s Day celebrations feel more like a hybrid of our anniversary + St. Aelred’s Day, take two (a day to celebrate love, in all its many forms). This may be due to our family being in the grade school stage, with all the Valentine’s Day parties and festivities which that entails. Add to that, that I have had the very good fortune of having numerous single friends throughout the course of my life, for whom all the hype over Valentine’s Day can be a bit alienating and lonely.

But back to Saint Aelred’s Day. My friend Joanna and I were cooking up plans for a party, back before our family caught Covid. We are on the mend, and very grateful for the vaccinations that reduced our experience of Covid to a head cold. All the same, we are scrapping the large group party for some simpler celebrations of our friendships this year:

● Some in person and virtual get togethers with friends near and far

● Some cookie making and friendship cards for local friends

● Begin reading Spiritual Friendship, by Saint Aelred, because I’ve actually yet to do that

● Watching Luca, the recent Disney film which beautifully features friendship

Happy Saint Aelred’s Day to you and yours!