For those of you with children in your lives, here is a cheap, easy game adaption that will get you and them talking about your internal worlds together.

You need three things: 1) the Candyland board game, 2) a piece of paper, and 3) colored markers matching the colored stones of the Candyland path. Use the paper and markers to make a key as follows:

There is no right or wrong when matching feelings with colors, so I often allow the child to do the matching according to their choice. I always include happy, mad, sad, and scared, but usually leave the other three choices up to them. Or you can change it up with other playful elements (when you land on pink, make a silly face; when you land on orange, name one of your favorite things, etc.).

Once you have made the key, then just play Candyland according to the rules, with the added caveat that when you land on a color you answer the following prompt: “I feel (insert feeling word) when….” For example, “I feel sad when my cat is sick.” If I sense a child is hesitant or uncomfortable, I switch it to: “Kids feel (insert feeling word) when….” Usually kids jump at the opportunity to talk about their feelings, but every once and a while I get a child who doesn’t want to divulge. In that case I say, “It’s ok, you can say ‘pass’ if you want to,” and then I accept their pass and I continue modeling on my turn that it is safe and OK to talk about feelings. And inevitably, after several rounds of no pressure, they invariably follow my lead and start giving me a little window into the world of their feelings.

I also encourage participation by responding to their answers with empathy. If you feel a little uncertain about what that sounds like, that’s OK. Here are some examples of how it can sound:

“For sure.”

“I think I would feel that way too.”

“Absolutely.”

“That makes a lot of sense.”

You are basically trying to communicate to them that you can imagine yourself in their shoes and can understand how they would have that feeling in the situation they have just described.